The Universe Hates Me and I Know Why

It's not like I didn't test them BEFORE putting them on the tree. I did. I tested. I plugged them in and looked at them. They were all cute and bright and twinkly and f*cking working. Then I got on a step-ladder and placed them while needles poked my crotch and sap fell on my … Continue reading The Universe Hates Me and I Know Why

The Guilford Gobbler Gallup, Guzzle and Grunt

It was a historic if blustery and cold Thanksgiving today for the first ever Guilford Gobbler Gallup, Guzzle and Grunt charity race and after party. As a sister event to the Thimble Island Triathlon Series (TITs), the Gallup saw record attendance this year. Shoreline residents have their pick of Thanksgiving Day races, including the Madison Turkey … Continue reading The Guilford Gobbler Gallup, Guzzle and Grunt

My Disappointing Life – Thanks to Pottery Barn

It’s the time of year when Pottery Barn goes out of their way to make me feel bad about my life. All it takes is a little time on the can flipping through their holiday catalogue to remind me how much of a disappointment I am to my wife, children, parents, America and any number … Continue reading My Disappointing Life – Thanks to Pottery Barn

Things I Might Do If My Wife Died

There is a great scene in the movie ‘This is Forty’ about how we think about our spouses after the years add up.  Watch the first bit… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCyXutUz9V4 Now don’t get me wrong….I’m not saying I want my wife to die. Never. Never. In the words of Louis CK, “Of course I don’t want that … Continue reading Things I Might Do If My Wife Died