Another Guarantee in Life

There have historically been two guarantees in life:

1) Death

2) Taxes

More explicitly from Benjamin Franklin, who apparently stole it from Daniel Defoe (but that conclusion is based on zero confirmation web search, I just went with what I first found because I’m lazy)

“‘In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

I would like to add another. If you have a rug cleaned, the very same evening you reinstall it in your living room, one of these two animals is going to puke on it.

2013-12-15 10.12.03

Also it helps if you feed one of them bacon grease the night before despite the objections of your wife.

2 thoughts on “Another Guarantee in Life

  1. A corollary to this rule is that anytime you bring a new piece of upholstered furniture into your home, one of your kids will get a nosebleed while sitting on it. Within 24 hours, guaranteed.

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