It’s not like I didn’t test them BEFORE putting them on the tree. I did. I tested. I plugged them in and looked at them. They were all cute and bright and twinkly and f*cking working. Then I got on a step-ladder and placed them while needles poked my crotch and sap fell on my hard wood floors. And then this……
I know why this happened. It’s because Jesus hates colored lights.
And He Says 
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