F*ck You Silicon Valley

So perhaps you remember these scenes from Silicon Valley, with Russ Hanneman's billionaire doors and his custom orange McLaren. https://youtu.be/_ih1ptOguaM Well........ Here is what I enjoyed parked in front of my house yesterday. Yeah...it's that f*cking car. Oh yeah....he didn't just park. He opened his billionaire doors. Both of them. Why? Why did he need … Continue reading F*ck You Silicon Valley

You know what’s not cute?

Look at how cute all these hamsters are in their wheels..... They're all f*cking adorable. But you know what's not adorable? Hamster urine. You know what's less than precious? When your daughter's hamster decides to urinate while running in its wheel. You know what's just a bit not super duper? When that urine, subject to … Continue reading You know what’s not cute?

Cryptocurrencies: A short film script

FADE IN EXT - Under a bridge. Scattered garbage. Evidence of homeless people abounds. Two squatting heroin users are preparing to shoot up. Rubber tube around arm. Spoon with heroin bubbling up. Heroin User One (speaking around needle in mouth) "You see Bitcoin is back under $10,000?" Heroin User Two "Yeah. But I'm more into … Continue reading Cryptocurrencies: A short film script

The Penderson Local: March 6, 2018

Penderson Community Reminders: While Sam Ferris' argument that the high school football/soccer field is not officially designated a community park or common area under Code:24;i;2 is technically true, we still ask that you clean up after your dogs. Practice had to be canceled last evening. Ex-councilman Reynolds is not acting in any official capacity outside … Continue reading The Penderson Local: March 6, 2018

The Local: March 1, 2018

Community Reminders: The Founders parade is this Sunday. After last year's unfortunate event, throwing candy from the floats is now prohibited. Donations are still being accepted at Eric's Gofundme page. Community clean-up day is scheduled for underneath the school bleachers this Saturday. Please remember volunteers need to be at least 18, bring their own latex … Continue reading The Local: March 1, 2018

The Local: February 28, 2018

Community Reminders: Emotional support animals of any type are no longer allowed at the library. The library will remain closed pending complete fumigation and sterilization of the HVAC system. The new Armored Civilian Defense Vehicle (playfully nicknamed 'The Tank' by our mayor) will be on display at the town hall from 12-4. Bring your children … Continue reading The Local: February 28, 2018

The Local: February 27, 2018

Your Government: At the city council meeting tonight, Janet Franklin spent 20 minutes arguing for new paint on the crosswalks near Emerson and Smith streets while Councilman Tom Reynolds, whose wife of 17 years left him last week, sobbed noticeably. The measure passed 3-1 with Councilman Reynolds' vote cast as abstain after Chairwoman Barns asked … Continue reading The Local: February 27, 2018