Community Reminders: Emotional support animals of any type are no longer allowed at the library. The library will remain closed pending complete fumigation and sterilization of the HVAC system. The new Armored Civilian Defense Vehicle (playfully nicknamed 'The Tank' by our mayor) will be on display at the town hall from 12-4. Bring your children … Continue reading The Local: February 28, 2018
The Local: February 27, 2018
Your Government: At the city council meeting tonight, Janet Franklin spent 20 minutes arguing for new paint on the crosswalks near Emerson and Smith streets while Councilman Tom Reynolds, whose wife of 17 years left him last week, sobbed noticeably. The measure passed 3-1 with Councilman Reynolds' vote cast as abstain after Chairwoman Barns asked … Continue reading The Local: February 27, 2018
My Son: Professional Troll
It's a proud day in my household. Like many parents, I've spent years believing that somehow my parenting style would result in my son becoming a caring, thoughtful, and compassionate man. Yesterday I found out the truth. I was sitting quietly in my room, eyes closed, meditating. My son snuck up behind me, and in … Continue reading My Son: Professional Troll
Can’t we all be honest?
I'm sure many of us received this email from Netflix today. Interesting to note they delivered it at 4:17AM to me. Maybe a bit of an effort to lose it in my Sunday morning hangover? Didn't work. The losing it I mean. The hangover is in full effect. Honestly, I'd prefer Netflix to just be … Continue reading Can’t we all be honest?
I don’t understand how every stay-at-home parent isn’t a raging drunk
This morning, I woke up at 6AM. I emptied the dishwasher and made coffee for my wife. We sat together, talked, read from some daily inspiration books and wrote in our journals. God damn Deepak Chopra over here. At about 7AM we let out a large collective sigh and woke the kids. I am sure … Continue reading I don’t understand how every stay-at-home parent isn’t a raging drunk
Life Lessons at Hamilton the Musical
My wife and I took our kids to see Hamilton last night at the SHN Orpheum theater in downtown San Francisco. After listening to the soundtrack multiple times each and every day for the past month+, my daughter was beyond excited for the live event. And while my wife and I were thrilled to enjoy … Continue reading Life Lessons at Hamilton the Musical
The Art of Gripe Letters
I recall sitting in elementary school - maybe fourth grade - learning how to write a letter. We practiced formatting, where to write our address, where to write the recipient's address, affixing stamps, and even appropriate ways to greet the reader and sign off depending on if it was a friendly or business letter. I … Continue reading The Art of Gripe Letters
I did a juice cleanse….and it sucked bad.
Like 'I fell down some stairs because I tripped stumbling out of the bedroom where I found my wife cheating on me as I was running to tell her about a foreclosure notice on our house because my ne'er-do-well brother in law stole all our money and during the fall got a lego that my kid (who it … Continue reading I did a juice cleanse….and it sucked bad.
Holiday Cards With Meaning
Now that Halloween is behind us, all eyes are turning to the Holiday season. And those eyes aren’t always jolly and bright. In addition to suffering through a few hours of Thanksgiving with your crazy Aunt Betty, you’ve also got to prepare yourself for the onslaught of Holiday cards you’ll receive from family, friends, ex-friends … Continue reading Holiday Cards With Meaning
Universe 1, Andrew 0
Me (last night): Gonna get to bed early. Have a race this weekend, so time to start stocking up on sleep. Feeling good. Healthy dinner. Lots of water. Universe (at all times simultaneously): Ha ha ha ha. Hmmmmm. Ha. Me (last night): Okay, hitting hay. Settle and calm. Universe (throughout history): Wait for it. Me … Continue reading Universe 1, Andrew 0